archived

I moved you to the archive

didn't want to see your name

didn't want to see what I'd written you last

like i was begging

i was begging

beggar

all i asked: do the thing

end it, if it is over

let me know. 

instead keeping me on the line 

with this better correspondence

all new, all improved, better than shampoo

better than bread, better than honey, 

better than Shang Yu dancers

better than the city of buildings going up and up

i look every day for your message

waiting for disappointment

waiting for a flicker in the ash

i  looked at that last picture and wondered

who took that picture of you,

the one with the bike

why were you online at 2:39 

out at the bar?

you said you were sad

you said you missed me

the you of now is not that you

that's an evil thing you know

Song for my boy fragments)

If only sending you back were 

As easy as returns at Amazon

It’d save my heart the postage 

But now I’m waiting on a text 

That’s not gonna come 

And telling all my friends it’s over

Buried the lead on that 

We went for ramen and boba

Asked if I fancied you and I didn’t know

if I liked avocado smoothies

Thought you were grifter 

Girl Riding Alone

Still thinking about you 

Dislocated heart fell in the first winter storm

Reached for your hand and it wasn’t there

The hospital said i’d need an operation

Eight months later you weren’t there

Caught a bus to watch the gulls at the port

Still thinking about you, still thinking about you

I’m a girl riding alone

Snow spins this rental Chevy off route one

Left on read my ride or die waiting for a tow 

Ryan Adam’s Wonderwall breaking me to tears

Read that last message riding shotgun 

Hiked Castle Mountain and ate a cheese sandwich

Still thinking about you, still thinking about you

I’m  a girl riding alone

Stamped passports and visas, slept in the airport

Sang open mic night in Canmore with tears in my eyes

You’re not riding that fat bike down 9th street

I heard about the accident and there’s tears in my eyes

A dislocated heart doesn’t heal, even with an operation

The muscles need to get stronger

And I moved on from thinking about you, still thinking about you,

I’m a girl riding alone