oh my love

what if this is the last one?
and what if it is not?
every cell in terror
for an unpredicated,
unprecedented,
indeterminate
future.
He has never l
in words
(let me be so specific).
But in deeds.
So they say this matters.
I am shaken
sickened by this
bounty, this
windfall, this
newfound treasure.
Sipping from a well
with curled tongue
the smallest quantities;
it could be poison,
which kills the thirsty
as well as the half drowned.
I cut my swarths out with
a careless sword, clumsy hands,
run forward with no armor,
no real plan, except
hope that my bravery and
my charms and my wits
will protect me from
the onslaught of unknowable enemies
of unknowable strengths and
unknowable outcomes.
I may not recover this
time if I go down.
Have I another choice
except to walk with fear,
except to know each step
is in a new land.

(unpublished poem)