text me damn you

i have stared at this phone what 100 times a day for two days

waiting for some message from you 

i'm not a texting guy you said

what is not a texting guy

i texted everyother guy i knew 

and they texted back 

yesterday today tomorrow

but you're the one who asked

you kissed me at my door

and did not leave without my commitment

sneaky, sly bastard, said 

you didn't want to risk me

wanted to be on the same page as me

wasn't sure what i thought of relationships

(my undoing, my death, my cage, my obsession, my bad luck)

what did i think of relationships

(please let it be not another one)

i might as well have been hit by a train at the door

i might as well have asked for water in the desert

i could have asked for a raincoat in a hurricane

risk me? 

i said what i meant for a texting man

nothing to read but texts of other men

risk me?

how you risk me now

heartless bitch i've become 

waiting on a text i won't get

don't you know what the world has done to my words