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He asked me if I were free that afternoon,
or any afternoon,
and then added mornings and evenings,
even midnights or sunrises.
My pick.
At one time, I waited for his offer
with the casual indifference
of a cat watching a mouse
catch his breath behind a heavy piece of furniture.
Eventually he's coming out,
it requires a certain amount of attention,
but not so much that he feels he's too closely guarded
to move again.
Lick my paws, wipe my whiskers, but
never turn off the radar in my ears,
every hair pointed.

He tapped me again. He was on the move.
I hedged between two heartbeats.

A heartbeat.
What damage could be done?
Who would ever know?
I've got my pride.
Another heartbeat.
But I also have someone,
even though he doesn't love me, true,
but he might. One day.
If I don't do stupid things
like entertain old friends
in inappropriate tete a deux.
Another heartbeat.
Didn't I want this once?
Don't I want to be a Helen?
Didn't we have fun, you and I?
Aren't all things pure to the pure of heart?
Another heartbeat.
Another.
Another.
Point six eight seconds, sir.
Another.
Another.
Another heartbeat.

Sense came back.
I played my card.
I'll think about it,
(meaning, no).

I'm coming over, he said. Half an hour.

No, no, no, I said. Don't.
I love him.

My love, a shield.
I was safe. The tide ebbed and I tread(ed)
calmer waters with
The phone returned to its holder.
He was gone. Who was the cat now?
Recovering but rattled,
my heartbeats faster and shaky,
breathing in gulps of air.

(Of course that day,
I wouldn't hear from you,
because I am what I am to you,
no matter what you are to me.
I wanted to tell you but
how could I tell you that it
took an android's eternity
to know my own feeling
for you was much
greater than)